How to: Self-care

“You gotta nourish to flourish.”

 

Self-care to me means taking the time to treat yourself kindly, be patient with yourself and give yourself time to just focus on you. It’s not bad to just focus on yourself once in a while, if we don’t take care of ourselves then we won’t have the inner strength to deal with our current situations whether it may be a mental illness, grief or just general stress. I’ve learned the hard way, being someone who is very hard on themselves, who bottles in all their emotions and who keeps going until they completely burn out and no matter how tough you may think you are, you will eventually burn out.

I’ll let you in on something very private. I suffer from depression and a severe anxiety disorder and the only way I can function is by taking medication to control the chemicals in my brain that cause these disorders. After finally saying ‘I can’t do this anymore’ after endless changes in medication, self-harming and unbearable anxiety attacks that caused me physical pain I was referred to a psychiatrist and a social worker and spent 2 hours telling them about everything that was going on in my head (it was a lot, poor fuckers). I remember the psychiatrist saying to me “the mind is like a glass jar that you just keep filling up, cramming your thoughts into and never letting anything out. One day the lid will blow off that jar and it will all shatter” and that leads me to my first point on my list (I love lists) of how to practice self-care which is…

How to practice self-care:

• Write everything you are feeling down in a private notebookI could honestly scream when I think of the amount of people who have told me that I need to talk to someone or I ‘won’t get better’, especially those people who don’t know me at all. Naturally, I am not a talker and so I’m not going to do it, the end. If you are a talker then please talk to someone, a friend, a family member or a GP of course. We’re all different.What I am is a writer (I enjoy it, I’m not a professional as you can probably tell) and when I feel completely overcome with panic, depression or whatever the fuck else I’m feeling I scribble all my thoughts down even if it’s just keywords. I find that this gives a less destructive but very similar release to self-harm and I feel relieved afterward like I’m emptying that glass jar of thoughts out into a book and I can make a fresh start with a new jar (or the same one, recycling is good). Once you have written down all your thoughts in the book and the book is full of negative feelings you should throw it away, burn it with fire (safely and outdoors) or just rip it up aggressively whilst pretending it’s an ex-boyfriend’s face. You’re welcome.

 

•  Have a nice, candle lit bubble bath and a read or listen to an audiobookThis is a foolproof way of feeling better no matter how bad you feel. There is something so therapeutic about emerging yourself in hot water and bubbles, shutting your eyes and listening to the pure and natural sounds of the water. Every single time I’m feeling bad I light some scented candles, turn all the lights off and get in the bath.With depression, I find that my concentration and interest levels tend to dip dramatically so I like to listen to an audiobook on ‘Audible‘ in the bath (no I am not sponsored and no it is not free but I think the small fee a month is worth it for myself). That way I can shut my eyes and concentrate on the voice that’s reading, it’s almost like an adult bedtime story. I feel my most relaxed when I read or listen to a book because it takes me out of my current situation and provides an escape into someone else’s world or even a fictional land for a while and I feel all my thoughts slowly melt into the hot water and then down the drain.

 

•  Pamper yourself and watch something upbeat and happySo you’re out of the bath, you successfully stayed awake and didn’t drown after being oh so relaxed and now you need a pamper. I always make sure I take a night every week to properly pamper myself. I put a face mask on, moisturise, make my favourite hot drink (tea, strong, no sugar because I’m a basic bitch) and binge watch my favourite TV shows or put on a lighthearted, feel good film. My favourite films to watch when I’m feeling low are ‘Labyrinth’, ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’, ‘Back to the Future’ and you should never underestimate a good old ‘Harry Potter’ marathon! (If you don’t like Harry Potter please vacate my blog immediately). My favourite TV show to watch when I’m feeling shitty is hands down (the U.S) ‘The Office’ because I relate to Dwight on so many levels and it never fails to make me laugh. Doing this once a week will make you feel like you deserve being treated this way and trust me, you do.

Those were just a few of my favourite ways of practicing self-care but there are so many other ways that you can look after yourself every single day. If I treat myself the way I would treat 5 year old me or an animal (animals > humans) then I know I won’t go far wrong and it has an extremely considerable impact on your mental health. Please remember that this list is written around me personally and that self-care can be different for everyone so please find your own way to look after yourself.

Don’t be hard on yourself.
Don’t apologise for how you feel.
Be kind to yourself.
Be fucking selfish.

 

Thanks for reading,